In(nie) & Out(ie)

A long-delayed surgical journey leads to a longer-than-expected absence

First, sorry for disappearing for a few weeks.

I was going to write a whole long thing about the who, what, when, where, why, and how of my surgical adventure but then I realized no one really wants that much detail about medical procedures and despite my long-earned reputation for oversharing I don’t really care to get too awfully deep into my insides.

(Note: Be glad I didn’t illustrate this piece because everything I found was basically out of a Cronenberg movie. Google robotic laproscopic surgery if that’s your thing.)

So, the short version: Pre-pandemic I’d noticed a small lump above my navel that grew into a bump. My doctor told me it was an umbilical hernia. Since my XY chromosomes often overwhelm my medical experience and common sense, I put off doing anything about it. It became a bulge, changing me from a lifelong innie to a midlife outie. There was discomfort and further bulging, followed by changes to both my wardrobe and my desire to appear in public.

Which means, when I did g…